COMMON SENSE 101

  The fact that it's 2013 and we have to deal with these so called 'problems' saddens me deeply. Not so many decades ago people believed that by now we'll be living in this utopia, where a person can be accepted for who they really are, people are using planes instead of cars, the world lives in peace and there's plenty of robots, etc.. but no. We're still dealing with lack of basic necessities in the third world countries, racism, terrorism, homophobia, sexism, transphobia, war threats, global crisis.. and those are just a few examples. We like to think that we evolved in this great society that can deal with problems, but looking at the whole picture we really didn't. And guess what? We if we'll keep focusing on the things that should be basic common sense we never will.
  Thinking about common sense i decided to write a little something on the problem of degrading the female body and woman right of choice in general.


  First of all lets clear this out:

• A woman who has had many (sexual) partners is not a slut.
• A woman confident with her body image is not a slut.
• A woman branding herself as a sexual and intimate human being is not a slut.
• A woman taking nude pictures and posting them on the internet is not a slut.
• etc.

 You know why?
Because sluts don't exist, and the word itself is a meaningless nonsense. It's literally just a set of letters, originally used as a synonim to 'kitchen maid' in the fifteenth century, that people use in attempt to degrade and undermine other people based on their own prejustices and disapproval with other peoples life choices. So there's really nothing wrong with being called a 'slut', if you ignore its negative connotation.
It's really disgusting how some people feel like their in the position to decide on if a woman should be ashamed of her actions / desires.


  Second of all:

A naked body is not immoral, sinful, dirty, pornographic or wrong. Any of those ideas come from sexualizing bodies and the idea of confidence and sex being a bad thing. Woman taking nude pictures are not seeking attention, they don't have ''daddy issues'' and are not unintelligent.
The problem is not with them, it's with your attitude towards them.

If you think that taking naked pictures or exposing your body in any other way:

• Says anything about that persons personality, mind or soul.
• Justifies hate, sexual messages or any other kind of harrasment.
• Says that they don't back up feminism.
• Makes them less of a person.
• Equates to a lack of self-respect.
• Says anything about that persons sexual activity.

You are horrificaly wrong and need to rethink some things..

Why are you so offended by and afraid of your own anatomy?

  There has been said so many things about this topic lately, that I simply can't avoid it. This 'outrageous' topic is abortion.
People are mostly standing on two sides, you're either: a) pro-life or b) pro-choice.
Pro-lifers claim that a fetus is a human being that deserves a chance to live and their arguments are mostly a result of religion, specifically christianity. Most people in this group are deeply religious christians or (white) male who'll never get pregnant, or both.
Pro-choicers claim that every woman should have the choice to decide on what's best for her.
Lets take a look  this particular situation:

I really hope you have at least one problem with this gif.

 For the bare start it's interesting how he calls the baby 'his' and not 'their'. Which person willing to start a family life with kids would ever say that? The child would be as much hers as it is his, so his inability to be a parent kind of already shows here.
 There's no way he was prepared to support a family as a 14 year old teenager with no real money income, which means he's drop all the responsability on his parents, who'd have to, at least, financially support the child.
 If he deliberately made her pregnant, which i assume from the fact that he obvioulsy didn't use any protection and was so upset by the fact that she had an abortion, wouldn't it make far more sense if he could just tell her that before they had sex?
So basicly he had sex with a 13 year old girl and that action, deliberately or not, had a result in pregnancy, which she was not prepared for and had an abortion.. and now he's attacking her for not giving up her teenage years raising up a baby, even if it's obvious that the circumstances were clearly not fit to raise a child.

Now saying that there's a possibility to the theory of a fetus being a human being.. Why is it's life more important than other lifes?
Why does it have more of a right to live than the girl? You can say that:
 Oh, but the girl didnt die.. Yeah, but i'm pretty sure that she's doing much much better than she would if she had the baby.
 Or you can say: Oh, but the baby could bring a lot of good in this world, it could be the new Albert Einstein!.. Yeah, or it could be the new Charles Manson. The amount of chances for both of that is the same.

I just can't understand how can someone say that abortion equals murder.
We remove our tonsils and appendices, we masturbate and do body peelings, and in all those actions human cells are removed from the body, so why is not that considered murder? Because every reasonable human know that those cells don't equal a human being.. So what's so different about a fetus?
It's not a human being. It has no conscience, memory or feelings. It's a pile of cells.

Please don't understand what I'm saying as: Everyone should have an abortion. That's not the case. I'm simply saying that I'd rather see someone have an abortion than have a child growing up in a bad enviroment, an enviroment where he's clearly unwanted.

Isn't it funny how some people care so much about what other human being do with their body?
Let them decide what's best for them.. You know how much you hate when other people are forcing you into something you don't want to be doing. Don't be that person.

It makes me sick that I even have to talk about this, but guys: NO.. MEANS NO.
It doesn't mean maybe, I'm not sure, I really want it but i'm afraid to say it.. or anything like that. There's no excuse for rape.
Stuff like:

• She was wearing revealing clothes, so she was asking for it.
• She's passed out, so she won't mind.
• We were on the (insert number) date, so she has to do it.
• She started kissing me, so she wanted it.
  People change their minds, you know? If someone was about to kill themselves, but would suddenly change their mind would you go there with a knife and kill them?
  
  These ''excuses'' are ridiculous. Total bullshit if you ask me. 

It's your problem you sexualize woman body, not hers for showing it. She could be walking around naked, covered only in whipped cream and chocolate and you still wouldn't have the right to do it.
You're not a fucking neanderthal, so don't act like one.
No means no.

So these are my views on these topics. Feel free to comment and tell me your opinions.
xx

IT GETS BETTER?

When I ask people how the feel about my blog, there's a question that quite often repeats itself:
Why don't you write something a little more positive?
Something with an happy ending, you know..?

Honestly.. I don't know.

It's quite obvious that I wasn't on an exactly happy place when I started writing my blog. To be exact it all started when my friend, who saw how i was feeling, suggested me to express myself, in any way posible, so I found my temporary peace in writing things on my phone late at night when i couldn't sleep.
But after some time that technique started to lose it's power, I started to feel worse again and I couldn't write anymore so I had to take a break from my blog. I'm able to write again, so I guess I'm feeling better now.
At that time I felt like that was normal, but from this point at which I am right now looking back I can honestly say that it wasn't. That it's not normal for a person to start crying almost every two hours, to feel so alone, to wish death so badly or to search for answers in self-harming.
No, I'm not willing to seek help. I want to go through this on my own, find the light all by myself, because only then I will be able to really help others with problems like mine. This is totally my personal decision and I would not recomend it to anyone else.
In the main time I'm going to continue to write stuff because I do that to make people understand and to show things from different angles, so you can see about problems (usually) also through the eyes of the victim and not only as an external observer. To achieve that I promised to myself that I'm only going to write about my experiences, view and emotions and if I'm writing about something that's not that personal I make sure that I only do that after a lot of research. And doing that brings me some sort of joy, because I think it's making a change. I might not be the leader of this generation or the savior of the world, but if I make one person think twice about their beliefs or teach them something new about mental disorders, I feel like I have done something good, a small difference.

So what I'm trying to say here is that I don't know how to write an happy ending, because I forgot how that feels. But after so much time I can finally say that I'm on the way to discover that. I hope.

Before I finish this I just really wanted to tell you one of the most over-used phrases of our time: It gets better. Maybe slowly, but it does.

Oh, and if anyone of you ever finds himself in the things that I post or just simply wants to talk to someone that understands (or at least tries to understand) what you're going through, you can always talk to me.
You can be sure that I'll take my time for you.

I might be cluelessly running down a dark hallway, not knowing where i'm heading or for how long i might still have to run, but the memory of the light still keeps me gasping for air and wanting to continue the journey.

xx